Isn’t it ironic that your body may take up a bit more space post-baby, yet no one seems to actually see you. Store clerks, maitre d’s, and virtually all men under 80 look through you as if you’re invisible. Yet somehow their eyes can easily see the man standing behind you and the cute co-ed behind him.
You can whine even louder than a colicky baby about the injustice of it all. Or, you can take these steps to regain your visibility.
1. Stop exclusively hanging out with other mothers. I know, it’s so practical, easy, and comfortable to hang out with the other moms. But if you ONLY hangout with them, they will just reinforce all the your habits that are making you invisible.
2. Get some male friends. At least one has to be straight. Watch when a man approaches others. His whole body language says I expect to be noticed and taken seriously. Hanging around male friends will help you correct your own invisible body language.
3. Stop waiting to be invited. If you want to dance, be in the photo, or talk to someone at a party, then stop complaining that no one asks you and take the initiative yourself.
4. Stop talking about your kids. Right now, you don’t even have any clue how much you do. So make a concerted effort to talk about something else.
5. Stop dressing solely for comfort. Comfort and fashion are not mutually exclusive. There are comfortable clothes that do not scream, “I have totally given up.”
6. Make time to lift weights and work out much harder than you thought possible. (Use a certified personal trainer initially). Nothing gets you in shape faster than lifting real weights. And when you feel physically strong, you will move and act a lot stronger, and more visible, too.
7. Stop criticizing the way your husband takes care of the kids. Best way for him to get better? Let him babysit while you do all the above.